She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
