If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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