i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
