if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
