And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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