he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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