Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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