I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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