But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
