Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
