i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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