found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
