My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
