I looked at my own cervix.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Your penis caused this!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
