why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
