So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
