Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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