yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
