Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
