Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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