You can't motorboat a personality
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we should paint friendship bongs
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
