dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
