We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
