Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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