Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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