i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
