Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
