Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
