I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
