Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
time to smoke my breakfast
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
