Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize