Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
