They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
