Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
