So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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