Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
