I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
