yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
