dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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