You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
