yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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