Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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