ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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