You really coming over, don't trick.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
