Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
