Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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