Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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