if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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