We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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