You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
