CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
