i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize
