And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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