Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
sex in a hospital.. check
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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