Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
how do you play pong handcuffed?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
