I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
