AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
