to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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