# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
