Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
