and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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