then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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